Hindsight Isn't Always 20/20

Taking over a parent's life is something to be avoided at all costs. Life ends as we know it. It may be preferable to die young.

But let's not sugar coat it. We have entered a phase of life that is detrimental to our physical and emotional health. We may find ourselves with a cantankerous, stubborn, smart, loving and yet oh-so-pissed-off parent with dementia that needs to make major life changes. One who will go to the mat to not make even the most minor changes, never mind the big ones.

We have to take it. They may swear, forswear, disinherit, beg, plead, cry, yell, punch, threaten, jump out of moving vehicles, write bad checks, refuse to eat, walk 18 miles barefoot in the snow, and otherwise break our hearts into a million tiny pieces. But we will take it. We don't engage, we just hug. Only later, in the deepest dark of the night, are we stripped of our strength, our bravado, our reckless belief that we can figure out this mess and do the right thing. And after months of sleeplessness, then we finally realize how blessed an early death could have been. Our own.

Yes, I know, you could never wish for such a thing. And you never would, ever. Neither would I. That is my curse. A Dudley Do-Right from the git go. But I must confess, Dudley may have done wrong a few times. But always with the best of intentions. I still wonder if there was a better way. This blog is about dealing with the complex feelings of guilt and fear and remorse and loss, and learning to let go, laugh, and live our lives as imperfect but loving childsters--adult children of oldsters.